Not Tonight is Alright

Last Friday I invited some friends to come over and hang out at my house, now this is a big deal because normally nobody comes over to my house. Years ago my house was the hang out, everybody came and had coffee, tea and whatever baked goods I had on hand. I had people over to my house every Friday night for dinners and Sundays people came over to just hang out. That was our regular routine.
But then as the years past and friends got married, had children and became 'grown ups' their priorities changed and they no longer came to my house for these events. Perhaps that's one of the reasons that I gave up. I was hurt that they stopped coming by. I was especially hurt when I found out that friends that I'd invited to my house for dinners were having their own social dinners and I was not invited to one of them. That was a real kick in the teeth, it made me feel pretty bad when not one but a few of my friends did this to me. That could be why I hold on to my stuff, because that box full of crap will never turn around and do the same thing to me as my 'friends' did.

So last Friday when a group of friends said that they were coming over I became excited. Then the week came and I began to start to try and get rid of some of my stuff. Yesterday I looked at my house and thought to myself that I had a lot of stuff to get rid of before tonight. But I was ok because I knew that my Husband, Mr. Hoarder and two of my children would be out of the house last night, and that meant that once I put theLittlest Hoarder to bed that I could rip into the mess and sort it and either put it away or get rid of it.
But then my daughter, Miss Hoarder came home and said that I needed to go to the meeting last night with her and her brother and that put my plans on cleaning out the window.
So I was feeling very angsty last night as I sat in that meeting thinking about all the stuff I had to do. I came home and Mr. Hoarder told me that the friends had a conflict with other social commitments and that meant that they could not come by tonight,but that we'd be getting together next week. Instead of feeling disapointed that I wouldn't be hanging with them tonight I actually felt ok with it. It was like it happened for a reason, like the fates were giving me a nod and saying "You're trying but not quite ready yet. So we'll give you some more time."

It's true, I do need more time, and that extra week will mean a lot to me. They came over last week and I know they were looking at some of the clutter that I wasn't able to hide and it kind of embarrassed me. Hopefully by the next time they come over that clutter will be gone and I won't feel bad about a thing and be able to just enjoy the night with them.